By Rev. Emmanuel Ubamadu
Some times when your back’s against the wall, you heart racing with doubt and fear, your eyes burning with trepidation and your mind wrapped up in a maze of confusing thoughts, at the moment you least expected, Love just comes through, in such a manner unassuming, quietly but firmly, with resolve and boldness and takes you in it’s arms. Your heart just melts and your pains fizzle away like mist in the noon sun.
Most times the bouts of stern aggressions that folks put up and act so nasty and heartless are actually cries for love. People put up a front and put up a fight when they can no longer cope wth not being loved in return or being accepted for who they are. But look beyond their actions, they are crying for love like gasping for breath.
Sometimes tough skins are only a cover up for years and seasons of rejection, failed relationships, low self esteem and battling with emotional demons. But underneath those thick tough skins are broken hearts and wounded minds searching for tender love and care.
Many times just dealing with the sheer vicissitudes of life and rummaging through the maze of everyday palava does not allow us the simple luxury of expressing love and showing care the way we would really have loved to but in spite of all the things we deal with we should always try to remember that what makes life beautiful are not the fantastic material things we have but simply the Love we’ve got, the love we share and the love we give.
Truth is, the real problem most of the time is not whether or not there’s love around but whether or not we are going to let that love come through in a moment of rage and anger, in that moment of disappointment or betrayal, in a moment of conflict and distrust…will you let love come through?
Many people carry on in life believing they are not loved and believing there’s no love out there, but its really an illusion of the mind, a make believe that they have come up with to excuse their inability to give and receive love. But if only you will remove the self seeking cloak, take off the myopic glass and look deeply and sincerely, you’ll discover there’s truly love in the air, there’s love everywhere.
But its true that only those who know how to give sincere love actually kniw how to recognize and find true love. Because you’ll always measure others against the backdrop of your ownself.
Sometimes as a man, a leader or a bread winner, you could find yourself on the floor of life, with your back against the wall and reputation hanging in the ropes, but you’ll try to take it in strides as a man and deal with it with that same macho you want to be known for, but really its OK to just let go and lose control to a true experience of love and care. Sometimes its hard to believe that those who depend on you can actually take care of you. But yes they CAN!
It brings healing, it inspires creativity and rejuvenates the soul when in a moment of trial and discouragement, when it seems like you have failed and you’re not going to get another chance, to hear in the midst of all the tumult, a voice that’s not against you but FOR you. A reassurance that its not over yet. A true heart of love produces faith in others and confidence in self.
Love comes through when we look beyond ourselves and the things we want and dare to get involved with someone else’s needs and choose to become responsible for their happiness.
Sometimes I ask myself how true or genuine my love for others really is, I ask myself how much am giving love back, to my family, my friends, my colleagues and even the ordinary people I come across everyday. When you think about it you’ll discover there’s a lot you can do to show you care and let love come through. I have discovered that real love is not about you but about others. When your heart is accommodating and your soul is tolerating, when your hand is outstretched to help and not turned in or withdrawn in defiance, love comes through…through You.
We are very judgemental, mostly critical, sometimes skeptical and even cynical in dealing with others and yet we many times blame them when we don’t experience love from them. Our self centered definition of love is what gives us that entitlement mentality to the love of others and deprives us of our actual responsibility in sowing the seeds.
Love comes through when I esteem you worthy of my time, my space and my energy. When I believe I need you as much or even more than you need me, when I am willing to put you first and make me last. Love comes through when I consider that my life is better with you in it and am willing to pay the price to keep us together. Love is NOT in the actions per say but in the COMMITMENT that it breeds.
Love comes through when I can forgive without reservations, when I can remember without resentment, when I can give without demanding, when I can receive without doubting and when I can believe that you’re more important and when I believe that if it’s only about me then its really not worth it.
Love comes through when am lost in God’s love and allow His definition be my presentation.
Love comes through because Jesus came through for you and me!
Rev Emma Ubamadu is currently the Senior Pastor, CGMi ChurchPlus. He was the pioneer president of CFi UNIBEN Ekenwan and served meritoriously all through his University days. He is married to Barr. Chioma Ubamadu(also a cfite) and is a proud father of 3 boys.