The Armor of God
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of
religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught
the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled,
“Stop! Acts 2:38!” [Turn from your sin]
The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. Then the woman calmly
called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the
burglar,”Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a
scripture at you.”
“Scripture?” replied the burglar, “She said she had an axe and two 38s!”
First Class Seat
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section
of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must
move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The
blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m
staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.”
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the
blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats “I’m blonde, I’m smart,
I have a good job and I’m staying in first class until we reach
Jamaica.” The head stewardesses doesn’t even know what to do at this
point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated
to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the
stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She
immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The
head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her
to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, “I told her the
front half of the airplane wasn’t going to Jamaica.
culled from http://jokes.christiansunite.com/
The Lord is My Shepherd
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her 2 nd grade class memorize
Psalm 23, one of the most quoted passages in the Bible. She gave the
children a month to learn the chapter.
One little boy was excited about the task, but he just couldn’t
memorize the Psalm. Although he practiced and practiced, he could
hardly get past the first line. The day came for the children to
recite Psalm 23 before the congregation. The little boy was nervous.
When his turn came, he stepped up to the microphone and proudly said,
“The Lord is my Shepherd and that’s all I need to know!”